剑桥雅思8 test 1大作文考官范文解析 比较家长与学校教导孩子的作用
剑桥雅思8 test 1的这道大作文题目是典型的讨论双方观点并给出自己意见的类型(雅思写作大作文结构 讨论双方观点类文章该怎么写)。就这道题目来说,我们最好采用折中的观点-家长和学校同样重要,只是作用不同,或者发挥作用的阶段不同。
家长方面,我们可以强调他们在孩子幼小阶段的巨大影响,以及其潜移默化中言传身教的作用;学校方面,我们可以强调其创造了一个微型社会,孩子需要与他人沟通交流,锻炼良好市民所需要的各项技能。同时老师会传授各种各样的知识,纠正之前在家庭养成的不好习惯等。下面让我们来看看考官是怎么论述这个问题的。
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剑桥雅思8 test 1大作文题目
Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
剑桥雅思8 test 1大作文考官范文
A child’s education has never been about learning information and basic skills only. It has always included teaching the next generation how to be good members of society. Therefore, this cannot be the responsibility of the parents alone.
In order to be a good member of any society the individual must respect and obey the rules of their community and share their values. Educating children to understand the need to obey rules and respect others always begins in the home and is widely thought to be the responsibility of parents. They will certainly be the first to help children learn what is important in life, how they are expected to behave and what role they will play in their world.
However, learning to understand and share the value system of a whole society cannot be achieved just in the home. Once a child goes to school, they are entering a wider community where teachers and peers will have just as much influence as their parents do at home. At school, children will experience working and living with people from a whole variety of backgrounds from the wider society. This experience should teach them how to co-operate with each other and how to contribute to the life of their community.
But to be a valuable member of any community is not like learning a simple skill. It is something that an individual goes on learning throughout life and it is the responsibility of every member of a society to take responsibility for helping the younger generation to become active and able members of that society.
剑桥雅思8 test 1考官范文解析
Task Response
1. 文章全面回答了题目中的问题。第一段改写题目并表明自己的观点,培养孩子不单单是家长的责任。第二段解释家长在培养孩子遵守规则,了解价值观念上的作用,强调他们是教育的第一步。第三段解释学校对孩子的影响,强调与他人互动的作用。最后一段更为详细的阐述自己的观点,认为成为良好市民的学习是贯彻一生的。
2. 文章对各个论点进行了论证。第二自然段先解释良好市民的含义,然后再指出家长的独特地位所带来的责任。第三自然段则指出开始上学之后,学校的影响力同样巨大。同时说明学校独特的环境的影响。
这里我们要学到的是,在论述过程中切不可泛泛而谈,而是要针对每一个对象独有的特点进行展开。
Coherence and Cohesion
1. 文章分段比较合理。第一段转述题目,接下来两段分别论述两个观点,最后一段表明自己的看法。中间各段主题明确,没有杂糅的现象。
2. 这篇文章使用了一定的连接词,比如开头段的therefore,第三段的however等。但更的是用了逻辑链接的方式,即每一句话的开头都是上一句话中已经出现过的内容,要么重复原词,要么用代词来指代,从而使文章整体流畅自然。
Lexical Resource
文章用词十分灵活,涉及范围也很广。具体内容可以参考下面“高分词汇短语”板块。
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
1. 作为雅思官方给出的范文,这篇文章肯定不存在任何语法错误。
2. 这篇文章除了常见的从句之外,更多的使用了各种各样的短语结构,比如开头的has never been about,how to be good members,cannot be … alone等,后面还频繁使用了动名词做主语,比较结构,but…not…的搭配等,是的句子样式更为丰富。
剑桥雅思8 test 1高分词汇短语总结
basic skills 基本技能
… never be about … only …不仅仅意味着/不单单是…
next generation 下一代
respect and obey the rules 尊重、遵守规则
share their values 学习/了解/分享价值观念
be widely thought 被广泛认为
value system of a whole society 整个社会的价值体系
peer n. 同龄人
learn throughout life 终身学习
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